Substituting REALITY with my own… I try.


Just one more year and it’ll 3 decades of existence on this planet and yet I’m still the same me. I haven’t even fulfilled any of the 5-year plan I made when I was in college. In other words I am nothing shot of pathetic.

When I hear friends have already achieved something they really want or is already one step away from reaching their dreams, I couldn’t help but feel happy and envious at the same. I know there’s no point in comparing myself to others. Their chapter 10 and my chapter 1 are totally different in every form and way but it’s been harder lately to tell myself that ‘you’re going to be okay, everything will fall into place soon’.

The strong facade will crumble soon and I don’t know what else should I do to keep it intact. Some people say that I’m an escapist, that I should face reality soon. However what they don’t know is, I’ve been facing reality head on, I’m just trying to choose my battles where I can feel victory is within reach. Been trying my best to stay strong. Been trying my best to fight loneliness. You don’t fight loneliness with dragging other people in your misery. It doesn’t work that way.

This post is already going in different directions. Who am I kidding, I’m no writer anyway.


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A quote from Moja

“Keeping your attachments makes you strong, but losing them makes you stronger as well… space is an illusion. if you think deep enough, you will realize that all the people we encounter are connected to us”

This will always be forever relevant. Thanks Moja ❤ ❤ ❤

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Resha Photography on Tumblr

Random photos here all taken by me 🙂


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The person they call…

So just a few minutes ago the person called my “Emmie” delivered her speech about how we(my mom and I) have to shape up. Saying all the household chores and whatnot should be done by females and not by the guys ( my two uncles), she also said that work is not an excuse and something, I shut her out after 5 minutes of talking. But what I did catch irritated me to the core, that my current self won’t pass her standards.


The last time I check, I was trying to pass the society’s standard, not yours. All so don’t tell I don’t give a damn about family. If I DIDN’T, I WOULDN’T BE HERE.

One more thing, stop acting like you own the house, MY GRANDFATHER BUILT IT NOT YOU. IF you want throw fit, go do it in your own house and leave us alone. STOP BEING A STRESSOR TO EVERYONE!

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faux smile for the lonely person

Ingingiti ko na lang kahit nalulungkot na ako

Ingingiti ko na lang kahit nasasaktan na ako

Ingingiti ko na lang kahit ayoko na

Ingingiti ko na lang…

Ingingiti ko na lang…

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